If you’ve stumbled upon this article, you might be thinking about having another baby after having twins. Or maybe, you’re pregnant with the third and wondering how you’re going to survive. Either way, I’m here to share my experience on what it was like to (shockingly) be pregnant with a singleton while the twins weren’t even a year old, what it was like bringing home a newborn while having 17-month-old twins at home (yes, that’s 3 children under 2 years old), my tips and tricks, and how we are doing now!
Being Pregnant with a Singleton After Twins
Deciding to have another baby after having twins is a personal decision. In our experience, we were open to the idea of one more baby, but didn’t think it would happen as quickly as it did. To say we were shocked is an understatement! I had a really hard time being pregnant while trying to manage twins at home that were still babies. When I got pregnant with my son, the twins were only 9 months old. My pregnancy was challenging both mentally and physically. I had barely recovered from the twin’s pregnancy not only to find out I was going to do it all over again. Also, the twins went through SO many milestones and changes throughout my pregnancy – walking, talking, nap transition etc. It was hard to keep up!
Once the shock part settled and the first trimester ended, I was able to get through my pregnancy by being positive and thinking long-term. I was happy that I would get to experience what having “just” one baby at a time felt like. I was excited for my girls to have a brother and for us to have a son. However, I won’t lie about the fact that I was downright SCARED too. I had many nights wondering how I would manage 3 children under 2 years old and the logistics of this unique situation.
Bringing Home a Newborn While Already Having Twins
As scared as I was to bring home a newborn to our twins, I truly believe that having a singleton close in age to our twins was perfect for us. It certainly wasn’t a “breeze” and has been overwhelming at times, but looking from the other side, I am happy that our situation turned out as it did. With that being said, there were some things I did in advance to try and set us up for the best success.
Hire Outside Help or Lineup Family Members in Advance
o Once I found out that I was having a third, I knew we needed some extra help. I found an amazing nanny on care.com that had experience with twins. Even if you can just hire someone to help a few days a week, trust me, it will help a TON!
Have the Twins on a Schedule
We made sure the twins were on a very consistent schedule before the baby was born. They knew what to expect during the day and their sleep was unaffected when the baby arrived because of how consistent we were (and still are!) with them. This was very important as I wanted their sleep routines to be a constant for them. A lot would be changing in their day-to-day life due to adding a new baby and I believe keeping them on a routine helped them not be as effected.
· Set Up Baby Boy’s Nursery in Advance
The twins were born at 34 weeks, and I hadn’t set up their nursery or put together enough of their things in advance. I learned from that instance and made sure that baby boy’s nursery was good to go months in advance. I can confirm that this was a good idea as he decided to arrive at 36 weeks exactly!
Accept that There Will Be Chaos
I decided to radically accept that things WILL BE chaotic with 3 little ones under 2 years old. I lowered my expectations a lot. Getting through the day and having everyone bathed, fed and in bed is indeed a successful day!
Benefits to Having a Third Close in Age with Twins
· It’s Easier
Once you’ve had twins, taking care of one baby is a piece of cake! You aren’t a first-time parent anymore and things just flow. You’re also still very much “in the thick of it”. You might as well just keep changing diapers and go through all of the milestones close together is how I saw it! I decided to take a “run through the fire” approach instead of “walk through it” lol.
Same Schedule
Eventually they will all be on the same schedule which is absolutely divine! Even when they aren’t on the same exact schedule, you can usually get one of the baby’s nap to line up with the twins nap which gives you a dedicated break. Hooray!
It Makes You Stronger
I undoubtedly can handle a lot more than I thought I ever could. If you had asked me years ago if I thought I would be able to get three kids out the door by myself, I would have laughed. It goes to show that we are always stronger than we think we are!
How Are We Doing Now?
As I am writing this article, my twins will be 4 in two weeks! And my son is 2.5 years old. I can actually say that things definitely are easier than they once were. In my opinion, the most challenging ages thus far were when the twins were 3 years old and my son was 18 months old. The twins went through a “threenager” stage and keeping an 18-month-old from putting things in his mouth and not falling down steps at the same time posed to be an issue.
Once we got out of the stages of needing multiple naps, baby food and diapers (almost there with my son!), life got easier. We still have our moments and having a two-year-old certainly isn’t a walk in the park, but the good certainly outweighs the bad! Probably one of the greatest blessings of having twins right off the bat is not having to worry about any new sibling jealousy.
The kids have their moments, and it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, but it IS worth it. I can say that with 100% confidence 😊
If you have any questions on something I didn’t cover in this article about having a baby after twins or having 3 under 2, feel free to shoot me an e-mail at Stellina@tweetdreamzz.com or send me a message on Instagram. I would love to chat!
Stellina Ferri is the author of this article. Stellina is a certified pediatric sleep consultant and mom of three (including twins!)
She supports families through the journey of better sleep as a consultant with Tweet Dreamzz Sleep Consulting. She lives in the Boston, MA area with her family.
Find out what solutions she has for you by visiting her sleep and parenting services page.
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